Polychrome Posy

i dont know what i am missing, till you opened my eyes

2012-02-12T02:25:00.000+08:00

Hi guys, it is past 1AM and i am still awake.
I am going to head off to bed as soon as possible when I've said my piece.
Earlier this week, it is simply pure madness. :(

I had 3 tough papers to study for and I just couldn't catch up with time.
I knew time was running out but I was really just that tired that I was forcing myself to study for a paper. So tired that I would fell asleep while studying, took breaks up to 3 hours and also ate excessively. This is just that bad that OSEP (Overseas Exchange Program) is the next best alternative to save myself from this situation. If you don't know, all the Year 2 (now Year 3) students from NYP have yet to have a proper break before the start of Semester 1 Year 2? The bigger news is that we will only be having one at the end of Year 3 Semester 1. That is probably what I am looking forward to.

Anyway, I've decided that I am probably not that cut out for OSEP. Just the reasons for going OSEP themselves are (now) deemed as invalid reasons. No doubt, i wish to experience another life in a new country and break free from my worries. However, talking to Miss Lena Yeo has helped me to have a clearer mind and picture of my goals. (Side note: Miss Lena Yeo is a great teacher!) Initially, my reasons to go OSEP are:
(1) I am SICK of studying in Singapore
(2) I wanna ESCAPE from my tough modules.
(3) I need a mental break AWAY from my current life and invest time in recuperating mentally and spiritually before the start of Uni/Work life.
(4) I want to CHALLENGE myself to study overseas.
(5) NOT confident in my studies in the future therefore i wish to FREEZE my GPA.

Now my reasons for not going:
(1) I am WORRIED that I will regret if anything happens to someone dear to me.
(2) I have come a long way since Secondary school, i should not give up.
(3) I can still recuperate during my long break in Year 3 Semester 1.
(4) I might just be acting on impulse.
Adding on, Miss Lena told me that escaping (SUPER TOUGH AND CHALLENGING) modules are not valid reasons to escape Year 3 and I simply just can't disagree with her. I can't escape just because i want to skip modules.

So be glad that I will be staying in Singapore! Shall I talk about my papers and bore you out? Hell, yes.
(i) First paper: EFMA (Accounting Module)
Verdict: It is really challenging and I am totally not confident even to get a B at the minimum. But since everyone complains about the paper, I am NOT alone. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
(ii) Second paper: Business Finance (Managing Money Module)
Verdict: Not as tough as EFMA! Although i can do all the questions generally, I am not confident of my grades.
(iii) Third paper: Business Law
Verdict: Can do all. SURPRISINGLY, the best paper of the three! All the hard works from memorizing did pay off.

Just to annoy you guys a little, here are some definitions:
- Frustration occurs when there is a unforeseeable event that takes place, causing the contract to be illegal or impossible to perform or even causing the contract to be radically different from what is originally envisaged.
- Solus Trading Agreement happens when a person only sells products from a particular manufacturer/wholesaler in exchange for certain benefits from the latter.
- A contract of restraint in trade is a term in a contract that restricts someone from carrying on his business, trade or profession.
- Specific Performance is a court order that orders a party in breach to deliver something that is promised in a contract.

Okay, i see that this is getting annoyed. So wait, my attachment (IPP) is starting this Monday (13 february). Thank God for Emily, Gen and Julian because I am pretty close to them. I can foresee that I will have a good time so please pray that I will get a good supervisor!! Anyway, I was out on a shopping spree with Huishi yesterday and I got stuffs for over 100$. It's been long since i last shopped till 100$. (Wipe tears) Just for clarification, the items that i bought are all for attachment purposes. I hope I can blog again soon! I am really tired now.

Before i leave, here are some good videos that are worth watching/videos that I am hooked on now:

Songs

Secrets - Tiffany Alvord (Cover)

I wanna dance with somebody - These Kids Wear Crown (Cover)

Living Louder - The Cab

If This Was a Movie - Maddi Jane (Cover)

One Thing - One Direction

Entertainment:

Kristen Bell + Sloths (SHE IS SUPER CUTE IN THIS VIDEO!)

Beauty:

Cucumber Masks by Michelle Phan

I REGRET

2012-02-06T21:07:00.000+08:00

I like it here

2012-02-04T23:39:00.001+08:00

Recently, it has been getting harder to breathe. It feels as though the air is too scarce. Have been feeling so stressed, pissed, upset, disappointed and unhappy about life, studies, examinations and myself. Adding on, I am feeling really out of place. Ok, fine, perhaps not me but my thoughts. I think I am really confused.

Anyway, examinations in 2 days. You can (almost) hear me begging time to move slower and at the same time, move faster.

We are all 2 FOOLish.

2012-01-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

TRUST ME, IT IS HORRIBLE TO SURVIVE WITHOUT A CAMERA.

DEAR CAMERA, YOU DIDNT KNOW HOW MUCH I SUFFER WHEN YOU ARE NOT AROUND. LOVE, ME.

These days i pick up the habits of:
1) deleting my replies to people on twitter. I cannot stand seeing my own replies to people on my timetable. It comes as an eyesore to me somehow (i dont know how)
2) Read 9gags before i sleep every night.
3) Eat lots of new year goodies because i didnt wanna die in vain.
4) Listening to inspiring songs (What faith can do, before the morning)
5) Singing Christian Chinese songs

These days i stopped:
1) RUNNING. O M G
2) Stop talking to my close friends as much because i am too tired.

These days i started:
1) Reading www.marxmae.com
2) Whining about my frustration of certain events in my life
3) Wearing a skirt. (I feel too manly for too long)

And now, I will be off.

2012-01-26T22:28:00.002+08:00

Barely surviving. ;(

We can't ask questions for who provides the answers?

2012-01-22T23:31:00.003+08:00

They said that you lost half of the game when you showed that you love someone more than he/she loves you.

Recently, just recently, i thought i can move on till i feel a calling that speaks 'tell the truth or die in vain'. For the longest period of my life, I havent been whispering the truth. Many times, I just let the chance slip through because I dont see the need to confess. However, i am feeling that i am in between a 'yes' and a 'no'. I dont know if speaking the truth will lose a friend or i should keep my mouth zipped so that things will just stay the same.

Meeting and talking to many brave souls makes me feel that I am really cowardly. Like i met a friend who told me that whenever she is certain that it is more than a crush, she will confess even when she receives nothing in return. Another told me this, 'The day you keep silent about the things that matter most is the day you begin dying'. I am really dumbfounded. I am definitely certain that it is more than a crush but I am really worried that we will end up being strangers. Even if we are still friends, I am very certain that I will run away from him before he is given any chance to flee. Isn't that as good as being strangers? At the same time, I really do not want to die in vain. Some times, I just wish that I am much stronger, less pessimistic.

Anyway, it is going to be Chinese New Year in 8minutes time. So guys, Happy Chinese New Year. My camera is currently undergoing servicing so i wouldn't be able to use it for New Year but as much as possible, i will use my iphone to take pictures.

Last of all,

Guten morgan

2012-01-18T08:45:00.001+08:00

Good morningggggg!!
It is 5 more days to chinese new year (cny). On the 3rd day of the cny, i will be having 2 papers - china business and retail ica 4. Can someone please assure me that i will do well for both papers? :(

I dont know if i have shared it earlier, after all it must have been a week or more since i last blogged right. I have not been working hard this semester. Earlier, i was complacent that my gpa has been improving for all the past 3 semesters. Although i kept reminding myself to study, i was still unmotivated to study. Recently, it is as though God heard my (silent) prayers that he gave me consecutive wake-up calls. Firstly, it was my blaw. It was the first (stupid) paper that I've ever failed in my poly life. Secondly, it was my marketing paper. Though i passed the paper, i felt that i was performing sub-standardly. Thirdly, it was my efma group project. It was my first group project that ive gotten a C+. No doubt tongues might wag that i should be thankful, i hope that people understand that we all are studying for our own future. Simply because of that fact, we share different goals and perspectives. Therefore, stop being judgemental towards others.

In conclusion to my wake-up calls, im going to work twice the harder to redeem myself from guilt. Im only left with 3 examination papers (blaw, bfinance and efma) to prove myself worthy. Adding on to that, i really hate to see my parents getting all worried about my studies. I just cant let them down because they are both carrying high expectations. 8|

Anyway, it is wednesday today! Im not having any school today. For the past few days, it has been consecutive nights of burning midnight oil. I am probably surviving with only 3-5 hours everyday because my project deadlines were really tight. Thank God my misery ended yesterday so now im going to reward myself by shopping for new year clothes after my dental appt! I am given 100$ budget to shop. This is insanity. I will be spending my 100$ on clothes (tops, bottoms), shoes (i can probably afford only 1 pair with a tight budget), hair accessories and maybe belts or smth. With me, i have my camera and iphone too. My dslr needs lens cleaning service. You can be assured that it is terrible to take photos with stains!! My iphone disappoints me after a month or so. The imessage has been failing for 3 times. Previously, i have been restoring my phone for the first 2 times. This time, im not giving in to restoring. Im going to make sure that they freaking fix it otherwise, i will be very mad at them!

This has gotta be one of the longer posts right! Take care, people!

Dream on, dream away

2012-01-11T00:31:00.002+08:00

Hi, so i am back again.

Guys, you know the feeling of wanting to talk someone badly but when you did, you just dont know how to reply. :(

Destined to be latequeenforever.

2012-01-10T09:58:00.001+08:00

Im destined to be a latequeen forever, guys. I cannot be on time. How am i going to survive my attachment? :(

Anyway, yesterday was a mad day. Went school with just 3-4hours of sleep ONLY, and i had a presentation , a individual project due and a test to take. I was running low in energy and motivation yesterday, man! In the end, my project presentation was postponed to today so im going to present later. Owell~

yesterday was the release of O level results right. I saw flashbacks of myself collecting my results 2 years ago. I still remembered i was having pepper lunch (for the first time) with Vanessa! Then as i was eating, the number '14' came across my mind and indeed, ive got a 14! Hell yeah? :D

2 years from then, it is now. I am working hard 65% of the time and the rest im slacking. Ok, can. Yesterday, i reflected on my life and i conducted that poly education is not just a test of discipline but also a test of patience. It tests your level of tolerance for people, deadlines etc. students who enter polytechnics with the mentality that polytechnics education are slack and simple, are really foolish. If it is so much easier, you will see every polytechnic students shopping everyday with their salaries from their part time jobs and not studying for final examinations. I dont deny people always have a misconception that polytechnic is easier.

I am almost reaching school alr, it will be a super packed day for my brain juices today. So goodbye for now.

'this world keeps spinning faster to a new disaster so i run to you.' - i run to you.

WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME:(

2012-01-09T23:49:00.001+08:00

So as promised earlier, this is a post on how I celebrated New Year's Eve & Day! So this year, as usual, I spent it with Vanessa (without fail). It has been long since i last hanged out with the guys and I am extremely guilty about it. Too much projects to handle and well, let just say that it is really tiring. So on 31 December 2011, the guys went to Sentosa earlier and I met them in the late night for dinner and countdown.
So this is a picture of the very sporty me. HAHAHA. Nah, I was too bored and i started fiddling with the ball and the Frisbee. Junwei (JW) and Siwei (SW) thought that it was really embarrassing. HAHAHAHA. So we headed to all-time favourite hangout place: Timbre.
Do you see the duck pizza!! (DROOLSSSSS)

And after this, we wanted the song 'Super Bass' or 'All About Us' but we waited for so long, and they didnt play it. Instead, they specifically mentioned our dedication!

And since it was the day before New Year Day, Timbre was giving away party hats with a charge. So Vanessa and I bought it and spreaded the love.
Look at Darren, he does look good in that mask. HAHAHA
LOOK AT MY BROTHER. HE IS AT ALL SMILES. :)
MY DEAREST WIFE. XOXO

So after eating and plentiful of chilling, it was around 11pm. We decided to leave Timbre because we felt that it will be meaningless to celebrate a new year in a pub. We made our way to Marina and it was so freaking crowded can! It was so packed that even if you alighted at the station, you might not be guaranteed that you can leave the station before 12am. You even have to queue to 'tap out'! I can't wait for any one of us to get our license asap! Anyway, we managed to reach the exit of the Marina station at 11.59PM. It feels really helpless because everyone is fighting to catch a glimpse of the fireworks. :(
So here is to a New Year!

After loitering for some time, we headed to Lau Pat Sat. I think i spelled the name wrongly but anyway, we went to Wendy's.
SW is super cute, i swear. Outside Wendy's, we spotted 2 ugly cockroaches who were moving around. Like me, he is scared of cockroaches. HAHAH.

That's all for now. Will blog again ^^

On your 18th birthday, we will have matching elephants

2012-01-09T08:26:00.002+08:00

Ok, pardon my nonsense. (look at my blog title)

Anyway, good morning! Whatever that i mentioned yesterday (or perhaps this morning) still stays.

I think i will be blogging more often because i downloaded a blogger app that makes blogging easy and uploading of images easy too. hence i can always blog every now and then^^

Im on my way to school now. Time check: it is 8:20 now. Lesson at 9am. Anyway, i am really really feeling desperate for monday to end. I think 'monday blues' might visit more often when i start working. Right? Imagine dressing in formal/smart casual everyday. I think half the clothes from my closet can be thrown away. Seriously, im not ready to work at such an early age. Can you imagine more than half of your life will be spend on working? :(

Anyway, just a random bit. My time on my iphone is 30minutes faster than anyone's time. In other words, i live 30minutes more than anyone in singapore. Hahahha. Ok, buaiiii

I need / want to sleep!! 😳

2012-01-09T04:11:00.001+08:00

I sure see :( right now. It is 4am and im awake. Was spending the past few hours studying for efma ica 2 and doing my mm project. I couldnt get any smarter when I chose to play and fool around instead of studying. I cant wait for monday to be over and look, it only started for 4hours. 20 hours more to go. *please let me survive today*

Just 1 minute ago, i am losing the interest to tweet about my daily life. It is not as though anyone cares about it and so, why bother? And thiningk about it, i think social networking does deprive me of my freedom to speak. Im worried about being judged when i tweet smth like 'omg, finally accomplished my xxx projects' or 'finally im going to sleep after 3 hours of intensive studying'. Sometimes you just wish people will give you a break from judgements.

Ok, i should try sleeping now. Goodnight. Apologies for the rants.

Who like to know?

2012-01-05T22:40:00.021+08:00

This has gotta be my one of my all-time favourites. :)

Just ended OH duty today. It is so fun working with Genevieve, Kenneth and Jason. I swear i miss my china peeps badly! Ok, while saying that, i meant the ones I went Shanghai & Suzhou together. It has been so long since we last met. Seriously, it was the first trip together with NYP 'strangers' then. I was devastated when Jason told me that I might have put on some (hidden) fats. Big sobs. I shouldn't even be focusing on this right! As in why let weight and fats be one of the first few things that occupy my mind instead of something more important?

Anyway, I just realised that I've yet to upload pictures of my 10 Brothers' Xmas Celebration.

However, be prepared because there are a lot of photos. So here we go!

It was a crazy mad day. I was losing my senses before meeting my Brothers because I was so so so tired and just pissed when things werent heading in my directions. It was already 9pm when I've reached. So basically, we booked Park Regis Hotel for 233.67$ and it turns to be a small room. In the end, the 9 of us squeezed into a room that was meant for 2.
We were all lying down and chilling when....
the lights went out! Thank God, no one screamed!
Then it turns out to be a surprise for our 10th brother, KMX. We bought it to celebrate her belated 18th birthday.^^

So we started taking individual pictures (not in any order) with the birthday girl. :)
2th and 10th bro!
3rd bro and 10th bro!
9th bro and 10th bro!
7th bro and 10th bro!
1st bro and 10th bro!
4th bro and 10th bro!
5th bro and 10th bro!
6th bro and 10th bro!

If you are pretty observant, you would have realised that 8th bro was missing. Yup, she couldn't turn up to join us. But she is deeply missed by us. :)
So we started our Xmas Exchange and we did it according to Mdm Benglay's method. But in the end, to ensure fairness, we agreed that we do not swap any presents. So here we go with the gift:
Huishi went first and she got her gift from Shinyi! :)
Then, Shinyi was second. She got Huishi's gift!:)
Then, it was yours truly! My gift were from KMX. Believe me anot, I have been getting KMX's Xmas gifts for the past 2 consecutive years.
Then, it was our dearest Kiaseng. It has been so long since we last see him right! OMG. I miss those days when he sat beside me in class and just saying, he has got really neat and nice handwriting. ^^
His gift was a packet of sticky, either from Vanessa or Xiaofen!
And it was Serena Wong!
Her gift was from Limei. In case you are wondering, it is a container that helps to tidy things. I forgot the name for that!
And it was Limei's turn!
She got my gift! It was a baking book! So sweet right, of course! She has been getting my xmas gifts for 2 years consecutively too!
It was Xiaofen's turn! She got Serena's present!
Then it was KMX's turn!
Here is her gift! Chocolates from CKS:)
It was nehneh's turn! She got kathleen's gift! Though Kat can't be with us, she passed her gift to KMX in advance. In the end, Kathleen got a packet of sticky too!
So this is what Vanessa got for her XMAS gift exchange^^

Then we started playing the cracker game that Huishi bought. It is the same game that Mindy bought for the GB Officers' Retreat!
Before: CKS and Limei posing for the cam.
During: CKS and Limei trying to crack the cracker open!

'Christmas is Love come down to earth, a gift of infinite worth'
So what's a gathering without liquor? Everything was proceeding smoothly when we were at our wits ends trying to open up this bottle of wine. While everyone was working hard on opening up the bottle, i hopped around taking pictures. ^^

Love my moustache?

Then in the end, our stunning brother (KXF) managed to remove the cork from the bottle.
WELL-DONE!!

And me, being me, had to disturb her. :P

TRUST ME, WE ARE 100% SOBER.
Then Shinyi surprised us with something really unusual. She started to pack the room because it was too messy. Then she explained that Winston is really neat so in the end, she has no choice but to be neat too.
Look at this corner. She really packed it neatly.!

If i remember correctly, this was the time when the hotel staff came knocking on the door. Knowing clearly that it was wrong to keep so many people in the room, we freaked out and immediately hid ourselves. In the end, she just made us dumbfounded by saying "Dont need to hide. I can hear more than 2 voices inside. So don't bother hiding" Ok, can. So she wanted us to chase the people out because only 2 are allowed to sleepover.
In the end, we kept really quietly so that no one has to leave.

Sorry, this is absolutely random. i thought it was artistic so i posted this. Not long, we got sick of the hotel room so me + shinyi + vanessa + minxian headed out to Clarke Quay.

It was around 4-5am and we wanted to have a look at the nearby pubs and clubs. So we headed to Zirca.

So as many would have known, there will always be drunkards near clubs and pubs. And so after having a look, we headed to Chinatown for porridge cause Vanessa said that it was so good hence we headed there.

The three pictures above were taken by KMX. :)

In the end, the shop was still closed hence we headed back to the hotel. During the meanwhile, my fav slipper snapped and broke. I was literally struggling with only one side of the slipper. As many brothers have plans for the next day (24 dec), many of them left and the remaining ones were me + neh + xf + nana + lhs. The view of the pool!;)

Look at the amount of mess created. GREAT? HEHEHE

After washing up, we packed the room and left the place with great memories. I can't replace my memory of hiding 7 wanted men in a hotel room from the staffs, drinking together in such a big group and sneaking to Zirca and running across empty roads in the early morning.

Ending off, this is the view from the hotel room. :)

Next up, New Year's Day Celebration. ^^

2012-01-05T04:00:00.001+08:00

It is a new year, folks!!

Im involved in OH tmrw. I think i will have a good time so i shall hit the sack now.

Goodnight:)

Never be the same

2012-01-01T19:44:00.001+08:00

You know smth? I really want to move the mountains for you but somewhere, the truth empowers me stronger than anything.

Anyway, it is a new year!! Happy new year, guys! I once mistaken that 'a new year' is the same as 'chinese new year' so happily, i asked my parents when will i get to go for visiting. Hehehe. I will do anything to go back to the past. all the best for the new year ahead!

Today, all our lives begin!

SWEET WORDS

2011-12-30T23:23:00.003+08:00

Lesson of the day: It is not easy to write a movie review with word limit from 150 to 200 words. I think it is a great achievement when I have cut down to 384 words from the original 681 words. I have 184 words more to go. And just FYI, that is only for one out of two reviews. I need to believe that I can do this!

You know what guys, on second thoughts, I've decided that i will come up with new year resolutions. Yea, i know, i said I wouldnt but on second thoughts, I changed my mind and decided that I probably should.

OKKKKKK. THAT'S ALL.

Cancelling out the hard times

2011-12-30T01:15:00.002+08:00

OMGGGGG. The girl on top looks really pretty. I think her hair iishh berrii pweetty. (DROOLX)

I am going to stay up tonight to fight demons (studies)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIACHYI!

2011-12-30T01:09:00.002+08:00

Hi guys, as promised, above is the video that I worked on recently. It is super tough to edit videos and put in background music etc. The hardest part is to upload them online which seems to take ages. Anyway, enjoy!! Chin up!

What you don't know

2011-12-26T23:43:00.006+08:00

Hi guys, I have decided to distance myself from Twitter because I realised how involved my life circulates around Twitter. I think Twitter is one potential place that deprives me of thoughts, opinions and freedom of speech. I once told someone that I would rather people read my blog to find out more about my life than to find out about my life through Twitter. Ok, that is perhaps just my weird thinking.

You know, these days, I've been thinking? Why am I living my life this way and not that way? Somedays I feel that I am very driven by goals, aims, objectives and what not while others, I feel that I don't have a meaning. Yes yes, I know. People always say that we need to find a meaning/purpose in life. True to that, but how many times is the 'meaning/purpose' that we are chasing after last us for life? As in these 'meaning/purpose' that we have been chasing after are usually short term right? You can debate that 'my meaning in life is to be happy' but c'mon, how many times do we live by these 'meaning/purpose'? They usually won't last for long because we all lost sight of them easily. I attended Huning's church on Christmas Eve and there was a sharing by this musician who said that his meaning in life is to be obedient to God and his calling. But ......

Owell owell, let's drop this topic. I've came across blogs of people coming up with 10 random facts of themselves. To add on a little bit of creativity, below will be 10 WEIRD facts about me. Or perhaps it will be facts that I deemed as weird myself. So here we go!

(1) I am only attracted to floral prints, blue prints or stripe clothings and nothing else.

(2) I am an organised yet messy person. I started off things organised then when my mind gets messy, my table will get messy too.

(3) I only packed my messy table when it is too much for me to take.

(4) I dont comb my hair, which probably explains why my hair is in a mess all the time.

(5) I am 18 and i do not know how to make up.

(6) Elephants calm my nerves down. They are just peaceful animals.

(7) Since Primary 5, I have been sleeping with my pink doggy till today.

(8) I stick to my personal routine. For example: I brush my teeth before i wash my face or I wash my hair, then face then body.

(9) I have a thing for sitting at the back of the buses.

(10) I never really like pink before.

As usual, I will end off this post with a song. It is by He Is We, a band that has got great potential in the music industry. Be it acoustic versions or pop versions, one word: AWEEESOMEEE:)

I find hope in the strangest place

2011-12-26T21:40:00.015+08:00

3 cheers for me. So sorry if you have waited a thousand years for this post, it is 11:31pm now and I have just finished uploading pictures taken at Austin Hills and Park Regis Hotel to facebook. In addition, I also edited certain pictures taken and I am even editing videos. Today, i learned that it is not easy editing videos. Okay, i will upload the video of my hard work when i feel that it is ready. ^^

So anyway, here are the pictures taken before/at Austin Hills.

Yummy brunch prepared by Auntie Benglay!
Friendships for 6 years and counting. ^^
Jiachyi's expression: HAHAHAHA
Finally reached Austin after 1hr or less! I've been to Austin back in primary school; it was probably when I was Pri 3/4/5, and that place practically looks the same as far as i remembered. Great place to chill and golf and relax!
The scenery from the room. Unfortunately, Austin Hills is under renovation otherwise, the scenery would even be more breath taking.
HEY, LOOK AT THE MIRROR. It is us!

Pretty girls in the mirror.
This is one of the 2 beds we had. Mindy & Auntie Benglay actually sacrificed to let us (the younger ladies) to sleep on the bed. ;')
We have a closet with big and tall mirrors attached to it. It is close to impossible that girls dont seize the opportunity to take pictures with it. H3H3.
We started off with a game of bowling. was really resistant about the idea of bowling because i dont bowl and i think it is a waste of money (NO OFFENCE) but the rest managed to convince me to play so i played.

Oh, loook! the cheery me. hahaha.
After 2 games of bowling, we headed back to the room to change out of our clothes for a 'steam-room' session at the resort. Super shiok can!! It was my first attempt and since I dont need to move my muscles yet I get to perspire, there is no reason why I shouldn't try 'steaming' right.
Poor Lynnest gotten herself a chipped nail after the game. She was initially planning to do french manicure for CNY.
She looks like her niece, which i can't spell her name. Will do a comparison someday. :)
On our way out, we saw some of the resort's staffs and with auntie benglay's request, they gave us a tour around the other rooms.

Is this artistic enough?
After the tour and the 'steaming' session, we headed out from the resort for dinner. In the meantime, girls being girls, we hanged out at the 100 YEN shop in hope to get some souvenirs.

ELEPHANTS FTW. :)

Finally, we settled down at this cafe for dinner. Was too hungwee hence I didnt managed to take a picture of my dinner before i dig in. :(
I rike this picture! It is taken by Jiachyi anyway!
Merry Belated Xmas!
After dinner, we headed back to the resort and also, preparing Jiachyi's birthday surprise. Oh yah, this is a picture of MINDEEEYEOO AND I:)
Sorry, was just being a girl. I have already posted the video on Jiachyi's surprise on Facebook. Do check it out!!
So this is our dearest birthday girl.It is her birthday today!!

Check out my moustache!

When the morning came, it was about time to leave the resort. Seizing the last few hours, we tried to shop around the area for clothes.
So we decided to take pictures in the store while shopping.
And there's all for Austin Hills! For more pictures, please go to my Facebook. :)

Time check: 2.03AM now. GOODNIGHT!

GASPING.

2011-12-26T20:50:00.003+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS, FOLKS!! I've been so busy for the past 6 days that I only started resting today!! But I had a good Christmas this year with my gb officers and 10 brothers especially.This year was mad hectic for me. Had turned a year older and turned legal. OMG. I am so gonna do a reflection for the year. (REMINDER TO SELF)

Anyway, let's talk about today first. I finally had my first project meeting since the start of the holidays. I am seriously gonna be so paranoid when it is nearing the deadline. Was it just me or someone out there also feel that this 2 weeks of December is ridiculous? I feel that everything is so jam packed can!! Anyway, do you know that this morning on my way out, I was about to put my money allowance into my pocket when the strong wind blew the note out of my hand and landed on the ground? Ok, I am cool with that. Reacting normally, I tried my best to retrieve back and who knows, I ended up running after the note like a lunatic. A nice boy saw the helpless me and helped. It all ended with the money landed on the LRT track. HOW SMART CAN THE WIND BE. OMG. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind. 'Should i jump down the track and retrieve it?' 'So i ignore it and head to school' or 'So i press the emergency stop button?' ' Should I just call my mummy because i am so so helpless?' I felt so lost then........ I met the SMRT guy and approached him for help. Him like a nice guy! He told me to wait for 5 minutes and i waited then when the trains were clear, he jumped down and retrieved it back to me. OMG. TOUCHEDXXX. I don't know how to react better but i thanked him and then.... I moved on with life. THANK YOU, HERO!

As i was saying, I am going to reflect on the past year. Reflections used to turn me off because back in Secondary school, Westwood made us reflect every week in our school handbook!! Thinking back, how many chances do you have to do reflections every week? So here we go:

(1) I turned 18, legal!

(2) Surprised my dearest Wifey on her 18th and it made her teared badly. (TOUCHED)

(3) Fostered new/stronger friendships like Emily, Aloysius, Xinyi, Cheryl, Julian, Gideon, Allyson, Beanie, Dawn, Zing through TEP. Not forgetting, Abel Chan (my dearest twin). We are ridiculously alike because we share the same taste for (almost) everything.

(4) My AWESOME TRIP to China with Emily, Julian, Gideon, Zing, Allyson & Valerie!! The trip to China this year was even more enjoyable this year than it was last year!! It was one of the best times in my life. :')

(5) XMAS Parties with GB Mates and 10 brothers have gotta be one of the best times too.

(6) Lastly, you. You brought a whole new perspective of life to me. I couldn't emphasize enough how much you have changed me deep down and I am glad that I met & fall for you at some point of my life.

For now, this will be all. It might even be longer before 2011 comes to an end. As everybody gets busy thinking of new year resolutions, I am not planning to come up with one because I don't bother to keep to my resolutions.

Here is a wedding proposal from Tim to Audrey. How sweet is his idea of proposing. Bottoms up to his creativity and their everlasting love.

Lastly, this is another wedding proposal. It is way more touching than the first video. Though that is not the main point, what I wanna share is that Aaron is so sweet to Tracy. Weeee!

Next post, my XMAS Party with Gb officers. :)

2011-12-20T01:54:00.002+08:00

We can't always wait for people to fix our hearts, sometimes we just need to be our own heroes to save ourselves from all those misery.

I want to hold your hand

2011-12-19T23:05:00.004+08:00

Finally FABS Camp has came to an end, it was a great end and all efforts have been paid off. The Secondary 3s led the camp well, so much so that most of the time, i was laying back and not doing anything. It was comforting to see them grown over the years. I am pretty confident that everyone have F(un), A(dventurous) moments, B(onded) and pick up S(kills). I will post some photos here for memories' sake.

The week have finally ended. Couldn't express enough gratitude when I can finally catch up on my sleep! I practically slept my whole monday away because I couldn't find a better reason to get out of my bed. Yes, I really did. I slept away my morning, woke up to have lunch and then headed back to bed till 7pm. That's how lazy I am. It was only when I woke up to realise that I've 4 missed calls, 2 whatsapp conversations and 4 messages to reply to. HEHE. Yes, I am guilty. I was supposed to meet my 'GG + Dylan' to head to Serena's new house yet I slept for so long So i quickly bathed and get changed to head down. It was a major relief because her new house is super new to my house. Woohoo. Yet it took me an hour because I took a bus there. We played poker and had a good laughing session. HAIRPEEEE^^

The highlights of my week:
22-23 dec: Austin Hill Trip
23-24 dec: 10 brothers' xmas celebration
24 dec: Church Service + Xmas with family
25 dec: Church Service

I think I've been suffering from Short Term Memories because I couldn't really rmb what else I am involved in. So please remind me if I made plans with you. Appreciated!!! :)

This girl is really a sweet-heart in the company. :)

My good friend, Jiachyi drew this on me while I fell asleep on the desk. >;(
Artistic enough? :D

More pictures can be found on my Facebook page. And i think my photography skills have improved^^

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away (Caitlin Hart Cover) on iTunes

2011-12-19T03:32:00.000+08:00

Guys, i like her Caitlin Hart.
She has a good voice, according to me.

And please, can i be your girl next life?
And and be us against the world?

it ends tonight.

2011-12-19T01:36:00.003+08:00

Guys. I am so excited to share something.
One of the topic comments on the song (It ends tonight) by All American Rejects is
"Pause this song
Go to Google and type in "Rainymood"
Then click on the first one
Unpause the song
It's amazing.(:
by MusicLive25 2 days ago"

It has a total of 72 likes! It is so amazing.
Trust me, it prolly sounds way better after you log onto that website.

Have fun!!

i like talking to you

MADNESS

2011-12-14T20:39:00.004+08:00

DEAR P(olychrome)P(osy),

I've not been feeling really strong this entire week. I have been on the mode of being ANGSTY for as long as I remember. Every time i get a chance to laugh, I make sure i laugh as hard as I can. Every time I have time to myself, I will stop and embrace every little bit of the serenity. This week is madly hectic for me. I wish this week will pass FASTER. Despite I am just this close to my holidays, I have been reminding myself that Holidays aren't holidays. I will be preoccupied with projects and other stuffs. Life has never been so tiring for me before and now, I wish somebody can quickly save me from my plight.

Just a sentence to share:

The hardest thing is to regain that faith and passion that you have lost.

Some days, I feel that I lost the old me. I feel that I am this inhumane monster who is selfish and self-centered. Others, I feel that I want my Secondary School life back. There are days when I feel that I am too ignorant to others' feelings. Have i always been like that? Or have i truly lost myself?

Love, P(olychrome)P(osy)

I wish I had known the future in my heart was just about to start

2011-12-10T23:51:00.004+08:00

Bonjour, it is 11:53PM on a Saturday night!

I am feeling sleepy now yet I am staying up late to do my tutorials and projects. :')

Is it just me or there are people who also feel that they aren't giving their best attempts this semester? I feel that every now and then, I am forcing myself to study. I guess I prolly need the right mentality so that my cup wouldn't run dry that easily.

Do you know that my cup has been running dry for 2 months already. It just never seems to get filled during these times. Whenever i thought it is full, guess what, just a week is good enough to drain me everything out of it. I wish I have stronger faith to pick myself up. Or maybe a getaway is all that I need.

Anyway, confessions aside, do you know that I've became a betrayer of Blackberry? I actually switched brands to their strongest competitors 'Apple'. Sorry, Blackberry. I love to BBM, Whatsapp, the keypad and everything else. But i couldn't emphasize my frustrations enough whenever i have to wait for 10 - 20 minutes for my bb to boot up!!! Apart from that, I dislike how my whatsapp conversations would always end up 'missing' all the time. Lastly, my Blackberry is really lag!! However, you served me well. Thanks for the memories. I will still miss you each in a while. Lastly, not forgetting, those memories intact together with the phone.

I had a great day out with my cousins today!! We can finally meet up after ages. I really really hope that they do well in their As. *finger cross* It would be even better when we get into the same University! Sidenote: I waited 2 hours for my iPhone and hence, i was late to meet the girls. Seeing that I am 1hr late, mummy gave me a ride to Dhoby Ghaut. Today is like a opposite day! I was totally dressed down and headed to meet them in my pullover and shorts after my collection of phone. Then we headed down to Oakham Market. They changed the store layout and ambience and Oakham Market still looks as good. However, we probably picked the wrong day to head down because the shop was really packed. Anyway, the girls bought something each and after Oakham Market, we headed down to all-time-favourite: Timbre for a drink. I can't believe that 10 years ago, we were playing with computer games or hanging out in a playground and 10 years later, we are drinking together!!! Then, 10 years later from now, we might either be attached/married (with kids). Look at how we have grown up.

时光真的不饶人。(Time waits for no man)

Listen to: Break Your Little Heart by All Time Low

Totally one of my favourite songs. I will listen to it almost everyday!

Oh, i just realised yesterday that it has been 4 months.

2011-12-10T23:30:00.001+08:00

I am dying for you to be here

GROW UP TO BE AN ELEPHANT.

2011-12-08T22:32:00.000+08:00

CUTE?

CREDITS: http://the.everydaylifestore.com

Little Swallow

2011-12-07T23:42:00.004+08:00

Hi, BUNNIES OF THE CENTURY! :)

I passed my BTT at my very first attempt. I know some people will be like "yah, cause it is so freaking simple." But seriously, it just excites me! I am one step closer to being a certified driver. And not mentioning seeing Xiaofen, Serena, Huishi and Vanessa makes me feel really happy. Random: I still remembered I once spelled BTT as BBT (bubble tea). trust me, that is seriously ingenious of me. Anyway, I know it sounds stupid but I love the times spent with my brothers. Though we are miles apart and we dont see each other every week, i genuinely treasured every bit of time with them. And i enjoy the feelings of doing things with them, eg: sitting through BTT together. Seeing their faces comfort my anxiety. And somewhere deep down, i know that these are friendships that will last. I can't wait for the day when we gather to be each other's bride maids and witness every one of us entering another chapter of our lives. OMG. I can cry!

Anyway, my brother is going on a trip to Thailand tmrw. I totally feel like ditching my books and go with him. But nah, I must go there someday! Mummy says that my first trip to Thailand must be with her. HAHAHAHA. She is nuts. She told me to bring her along for my first clubbing experience. Sometimes, parents can be really cute! I will be waking up before 5am to accompany her to send my brother off. I know, such a good daughter and sister right, TOTALLY RIGHT? WEEEEE.

Lastly, holidays are coming. I CAN'T WAIT. I AM GOING TO GO FOR XMAS GIFT SHOPPING TOMORROW. I DONT CARE IF I AM DOING ALONE OR WHAT. IT IS EXCITING. IT IS A SEASON OF GIVING. OMG. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. I don't think anyone should hate/dislike christmas anyway.

I just remembered that i forgot to share my feelings on watching movie alone. Seriously, it is damm thrilling!! I have never feel so excited yet nervous before. Just saying, even examinations don't make me feel that nervous. I am definitely going to do it someday. I told some of my friends that I am going to be a joke by watching 'New Year's Eve' alone. 'New Year's Eve' is a new movie that will be in theatre in December, i think. Sorry, I am not too sure about it. Know why i say it is a joke, because no one should be celebrating 'New Year's Eve' alone. Hence, I shall be an irony when i do that. WEEEE.

Anyway, here is a video on Xiaxue and her bunny, Igloo! Igloo is super small and cute!!

And here is the trailer of New Year's Eve:

DREAMS. DREAMS. DREAMS

2011-12-07T00:20:00.002+08:00

Typical tweets from me. Anyway, here is a quote!

It is a little alike to my 'dream' tweet too. ^^

"The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don’t know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened." by Oprah Winfrey

SUNSHINE YOU. SUNSHINE ME.

2011-12-06T18:00:00.003+08:00

HELLO, LIFE. ARE YOU GUYS HOOKED ONTO 'SING FOR ME' ALR?

IF YOU HAVENT, YOU ARE BORRRRINGGGGG.

IF YOU DID, OMG, YOU ARE SO COOL!

Did anyone realised that i've been blogging more and more everyday?

I, myself sure realised that. Anyway, I enjoy blogging #justsaying.

Even if i have zero hits, i will still blog, for myself!

Anyway, today i celebrated Seemin (Number 1)'s birthday! Thanks a lot to Emily, Huiyi and Jan (Emily's friend) for helping me out with the FAILED surprise! Anyway, I bought her a slice of Coco Exotic from my school. Here is a picture of Coco Exotic:

Did i mention how good it is to have westwoodians in NYP? It makes me feel really belonged whenever I see Westwoodians. (OMG, Ww's honor) Hehehe. I miss Westwood badly can? I miss how disciplined the school used to be. I miss how our socks had to be 4 fingers above the ankle. i miss how Miss Fong shout across the corridors just to get someone to pull up his/her socks or perhaps to tuck in our shirts. And i also miss how close we were back then. I also miss how Mrs Chow always made us re-greet "good morning, mdm" I also miss the times when we were forced to hold hands during Folk Dancing session. I also miss those tears of sadness, frustration and joy we cried together. Lastly, I miss PROM. Though i looked super ugly back then, it was such a great experience and a piece of memory neatly intact. X X X X X

Anyway, just as I was about to rant how pissed off i am on not receiving my buys from some blogshops, one of them arrived just now. OMG. HAPPINESS. It is my first jumper in my life and i will be wearing it for CNY. So far, I have 1 top and 1 jumper that I will be wearing for CNY. I can't wait to spend time with my cousins and do nothing but just eat, slack and laugh. weeee~

My tummy hasn't been behaving well these days. I guess it is because I have been having too much good food recently. Owell. Please get better, tummy!

Lastly, I am taking my BTT tmrw. (SHIVERS)

If i could, then i would, i would go wherever you go.

2011-12-05T17:49:00.004+08:00

Today is a great day, animals! HEHEHE.

I ended my Retail ICA 1 today and guess what, i am rejoicing and embracing my life now. Apparently, I can't imagine how hard i have to study if i opted for JC 2 years ago. Previously, during my O levels, i woke up at 4am just to study for my common tests, prelims and O levels. So on average, I only have an average of 5-6 hours to sleep. IMAGINE IF I OPT FOR JC, I DON'T EVEN GET TO SLEEP AT ALL. PERIOD. Anyway, to pamper myself for waking up early to study, i bought myself my fav caramel milk tea from gongcha and gyoza from Old Chang Kee. Awww. I weighed myself and to my dismay, i put on weight. I guess i will be jogging later. I need to exercise.

Anyway, visited Joash with Jiachyi yesterday! Joash is the newborn from Mdm Peiern and Joseff. He is so cute, excuse me for my excitement!!!! When Jiachyi and I were shopping for his present, we almost went crazy because everything (babies clothes, shoes, accessories, towels & milk bottles) looks so cute. I can't wait for my turn to be a parent. ^^

* Will upload Joash's pictures as soon as possible. *

And recently, I've adopted a bad habit - downloading songs whenever I use my laptop. I just can't help it. It just happened, you see. I can stay on youtube for an hr to listen to songs. Then i can spend another hr or two just to download and sync them into iPod. Not mentioning, I even spend time to search for lyrics. It is seriously time consuming. But it just happens all the time.

Anyway, here is a nice song. You guys should listen!

It is 'Sing For Me' by Yellowcard. (Y)

Look at me

And listen close

So I can tell you how I feel before I go

Just a year

It's not much time

For me to show you I am proud that you are mine

I wish I had known the future in my heart

Was just about to start

Save tomorrow

I can't follow you there

Just close your eyes and sing for me

I will hear you

Always near you

And I'll give you the words just sing for me

Every lock

On every door

I put them there to try and hide you from the world

And you kicked

Yeah, you screamed

You never understood, you're everything to me

I just hope you know, the future in your heart

Is just about to start

Save tomorrow

I can't follow you there

Just close your eyes and sing for me

I will hear you

Always near you

And I'll give you the words just sing for me

No looking back when I am gone (sing for me)

Follow your heart it's never wrong (sing for me)

No looking back when I am gone (sing for me)

Don't second guess the note you're on

Out of time

All out of fight

You are the only thing in life that I got right

Save tomorrow

I cant follow you there

Just close your eyes and sing for me

I will hear you

Always near you

And I'll give you the words just sing for me

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Woah-oh-oh-oh

Just close your eyes and sing for me (sing for me)

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Woah-oh-oh-oh

Just close your eyes and sing for me

All the bold words are my favourite parts to the song. Sing for me, will you? :'(

Best Friend - Jason Chen (Official Music Video)

2011-12-04T01:23:00.000+08:00

I bet you guys don't believe that love can be so simple.

This song was introduced by my twin and i fell in love with it immediately. :)

I crossed my fingers tonight to 'pray for all your love'. 'I just wanna reach you and touch you, squeeze you. Somebody pinch me?'

Cause there'll be no sunshine if i lose you

2011-12-03T19:32:00.004+08:00

I just rewatched Episode 1 of TWD today. Then i left Sheryl alone to watch the remaining 2 episodes on her own. Guess what that girl told me when i returned? She said that it was not even scary. And i was like :O and she was like -__- and i was like :O!!! and she was like :| and i was like >:o and she was like :) Therefore, i concluded that there are only 2 possibilities - 1, she was lying that it was not even scary or 2, it was just me who think that Zombies are scary.

Anyway, i snipped off my hair yesterday. Nah nah, I didnt cut bob. Instead, I just snipped off a good few inches of my hair. I even trimmed my fringe. I am receiving a lot of compliments. Aww. Thank you guys. And a big thank you to Lynnest who insisted that I should cut my hair. Thanks!!

"Even the biggest stumble and fall someday, why can't i?
Even the strongest fall and rest, why can't i?"

The Distance That Killed Us

2011-12-01T22:05:00.003+08:00

Today I realised that i was half awake, i (act like i am drunk) and replied texts that do not make sense. I am serious!! I didnt know i have such a side to me. HAHAAHA. But trust me, I am definitely not drunk, just not fully awake.

Previously, I mentioned abt my wild imagination right? I have gotten better! Previously, I dont even dare to walk back home at night. Guess who dares to walk home now? And I am also trying my best-est to reach home earlier because the dark always misleads my mind to thinking wild. I am crazeee. Hopefully, I will be able to control my mind better tomorrow since I am heading back for GB.

Anyway, two posts ago, i mentioned about watching movie alone right. Guess what? The brave girl did. She (re)watched a movie 'You are the Apple of my Eye' alone at 9:40pm at Lot 1 Shaws Theatre. HEHEE. Guess what is a terrible mistake? It was to watch a romance movie alone when you were surrounded by couples. HEHE. The movie was still good but i think i laughed a lot harder when i first watched it. It was a good movie. Better go watch it if you have not catch it yet!

OH YAH!! I realised i havent mentioned anything about the TV series 'The Walking Dead' before. (SLAPS MYSELF) WHY DIDNT I MENTION ANYTHING HERE? (SLAPS FRANTICALLY) 'The Walking Dead' is probably one tv series that I have ever been so excited about. It is really just that good, believe it anot. It is basically on this sheriff who woke up from a coma and he woke up to realise that this world is totally different then and now. The whole world seems to be dominated by Walking dead (Zombies) and he is trying his best to survive. Though the chances of finding survivors (at that point of time) was tough, he kept his faith, hoping to find his wife and son. Basically, if you wanna know more, you can click here and read it.

Apart so, here are two trailers of the show:

*APPARENTLY, THIS SHOW IS HIGHLY INADVISABLE FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED.*

THE ZOMBIES ARE PRETTY SCARY.

Trailer for Season 1

Trailer for Season 2

The latest episode is S2E7:)

Thinking twice, I never regret starting to watch this. Apparently, back in challenger, Shumei introduced this great show to Zing and I. Then when I was in China, my friends (Julian, Gideon, Zing and Emily) forced me to watch with them. I still remembered how I bathed in fear then. HAHAHAA. Trust me, it is a great show. Every episode, there will be suspense awaiting you. Not forgetting, every episode unfolds a mystery to it. You can watch it on funshion or online. However, as they are going into a Winter break, the series will be put on hold. So ..... I will most probably be whining to my friends. HEHEHE. PLEASE GO AND WATCH!!

Anyway, i need to go. I am supposed to be doing my tutorial. XOXO.

I want you to know

2011-11-26T16:57:00.003+08:00

Hi, Sweethearts. I think I am a little mentally unstable these days.

I can leave my phone ringing, read messages and don't reply them and scare myself with deaths/suicides etc. Ok, or maybe it is just me. HAHAHAA.

Anyway, I woke up at 1:17pm this afternoon.

There will be no parade for the next few weeks and life rocks! I can sleep in and spend more time with my books. We need a owner-property day out soon! Anyway, is there a word like RML (Rock-my-life)? I should perhaps start using it cause everybody keeps saying FML.

This week has been a fearful week for me. >:(

Cause I have been thinking about suicides and deaths nonstop. I am so so so worried that someone will jump off a building before my eyes. And I am so worried that someone comes behind my back and stab me hard. It probably hurts badly to be stabbed and not to mention, stab repeatedly. I think i will cry. I am also afraid of zombies too. I am so worried that zombies will appear out of nowhere. Looks like The Walking Dead (TWD) has yet to help me overcome my phobia of zombies yet. Do you know that when i was watching TWD S2E6 earlier this week, one ugly looking zombie appeared suddenly and I've got a fright so i threw my BLACKBERRY on the phone? Oh yes, that's how timid i am.

Ok, I should stop scaring you guys.

Do you know that I probably can't speak Chinese as well as I did, two years ago?

I am terrified of goodbyes

2011-11-24T18:33:00.004+08:00

Couldnt emphasised enough how free i feel now. No more deadlines, no more rushing and no more coping between ICA and studies. I can now focus more on studies because SBM DAY has finally ended! Wendi is a really good photographer. Go see the pictures that she tagged me to link you to the photo albums. If i can take such great pictures like her, I will be seriously contented!

Anyway, today i set a task for myself. For the first time in my life, i am going to attempt watching a movie alone. Arent you people proud of me? Cmon, just admit it! I am so so so brave. Ok. Anyway, I just visited my dentist and my braces bands are in red and green. Why? Because this's the season to be jolly, falalalala lalalala. :)

I am looking for XMASSSS!! Oh yeah, and do you know that I am going to Austin Hill during December! So excited can! The last time I've been there was when I was in Primary school. As far as i remembered, the bed was super comfortable and cooling. Ah, a perfect getaway during a joyous season with my GB officers and helpers! And we were promised that we won't be doing any work! SUPER COOLX. :D

Sing for me

2011-11-20T23:14:00.002+08:00

Just when i thought that things are better, they failed to get any better.
After Wednesday, you will see me dropping off all my burdens.

I have been weighed down for too long, i need to dump some weights aside.

I am in need of chocolate now. I have been staying up late at night for too long. So long that my condition of my face is super awful NOW. Pimples are popping up and (i bet) my myopia has definitely worsen. I WANT MY GENUINE SMILE BACK!!!

Anyway, chinup, my shitty buddy is coming back from Indonesia already. I miss her so badly! I realised i can't barely survive without her. :(

2011-11-20T23:05:00.001+08:00

PATHETIC: I CANT ENJOY MY SUNDAY IN PEACE.

HAVE BEEN COPING WITH ICAS, TUTORIALS AND SBM DAY WORK.

WHERE IS MY FREEDOM? WHERE IS MY HUMAN RIGHTS?

JUST KILL ME.

It is more than a crush when you like someone for more than 4 months.

2011-11-20T00:11:00.002+08:00

Let's talk about my schedule for the next 3 weeks.

This coming week:

21 Nov: EFMA ICA 1 + SBM DAY REHEARSAL

22 Nov: SBM DAY REHEARSAL + MOII SHITTY BUDDY IS BACK!

23 Nov: DENTAL APPT + BIZFIN ICA 1 + SBM DAY

Next Next Week:

29 Nov: BIZ LAW ICA 1

31 Nov: UNDERSTANDING CHINA'S BUSINESS AND CULTURE ICA 1

Next Next Next Week:

5 Dec: RETAIL ICA 1

7 Dec: OSEP BRIEFING + BTT (!!!!!!!!)

If this was a movie :')

2011-11-19T23:59:00.004+08:00

Wow. Just realised it has been more than a week since I've blogged.

Surprisingly, there are still hits everyday. HAHAHA.

Apparently, I dont know what I want to blog about. Hmm~

Okay, let's talk about my friend!

His name is Don Ong and he is currently at overseas in Switzerland.

He has been there for 2 months and I can't wait for him to be back.

I'm lacking in a brotherly figure in my life badly. I need someone who has clear visions to advise me on life. And oh well, let's just say he is influential. There is never a time when I never tear when I talked about feelings deep down to him. Sometimes, his simple words like 'C'mon, Sheridin! Why are you so negative?" woke me up.

Anyway, here are some pictures (Just 3 pictures actually) of us when we oovoo-ed one week ago!

A picture of my dear friend when he was climbing back into his room from his balcony.

I dont know what is wrong with my eyes. They looked corny. Anyway, he is staying on top of a mountain now! And he was showing me around his window view in this picture.

Do you know that Switzerland is now having 7 hours of time lapse from Singapore. So for example, it is 12;09am (Sunday) in Singapore timing, it is maybe just 6;09pm (Saturday) in Switzerland? ^^

2011-11-12T22:28:00.001+08:00

Guys, you know what. I might be serious that I am going for OSEP in year 3. I need to discover other passions in my life.

He Is We - All About Us ft. Owl City

2011-11-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

Take my hand, I’ll teach you to dance.

I’ll spin you around, won’t let you fall down.

Would you let me lead, you can step on my feet.

Give it a try, it’ll be alright.

The room’s hush, hush,

And now’s our moment.

Take it in feel it all and hold it.

Eyes on you, eyes on me.

We’re doing this right.

Cause lovers dance when they’re feeling in love.

Spotlight shining, it’s all about us.

It’s oh, oh, all,

About uh, uh, us.

And every heart in the room will melt,

This is a feeling I’ve never felt but,

It’s all about us.

Suddenly, I’m feeling brave.

Don’t know what’s got into me,

Why I feel this way.

Can we dance, real slow?

Can I hold you,can I hold you close?

The room’s hush, hush,

And now’s our moment.

Take it in feel it all and hold it.

Eyes on you, eyes on me.

We’re doing this right.

Cause lovers dance when they’re feeling in love.

Spotlight shining, it’s all about us.

It’s oh, oh, all,

About uh, uh, us.

And every heart in the room will melt,

This is a feeling I’ve never felt but,

It’s all about us.

Do you hear that love?

They’re playing our song.

Do you think we’re ready?

Oh I’m really feeling it.

Do you hear that love?

They’re playing our song.

Do you think we’re ready yet?

Love I’m really feeling it.

Do you hear that love?

They’re playing our song.

Do you think we’re ready yet?

Oh I’m really feeling it.

Do you hear that love?

Lovers dance when they’re feeling in love.

Spotlight shining, it’s all about us.

It's all about us.

It’s all, all, all, all.

Every heart in the room will melt,

This is a feeling I’ve never felt,

But it’s all about us.

Cause lovers dance when they’re feeling in love.

Spotlight shining, it’s all about us.

It’s oh oh all about us

(hey-ey hey)

And every heart in the room will melt,

This is a feeling I’ve never felt but,

It’s oh, oh,

It’s all about us.

2011-11-12T21:46:00.003+08:00

"Though she is still quite fearful of her mind’s agility in attempting to trap her and trick her, she wishes to believe she is safe."
-The five stages of recovery

11/11/11 11:11

2011-11-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

Crawling Back To You - Daughtry

2011-11-08T00:04:00.003+08:00

I can't help it, I am hooked onto this song.

Oh, was in a foul mood earlier this evening. Thank God for Vanessa and Zisong. They are 2 good examples of people who stay real when there are people who prove to me how 'plastic' this world can be. 'Plastic' - fake. It sucks when you keep giving people the benefit of doubt and keep giving them support and courage whenever they need it. In the end, you feel really hurt because all they need at that point of time is just a substitute or representative figure of someone significant in their lives. And so foolishly, you came into the picture and you are used. Your value as a person hence failed drastically. I never felt this way before.

Those friends in my life that truly matter to me, I love you deep down. You guys will always be the best!

Made a lot of mistakes

2011-11-08T00:02:00.001+08:00

Everybody all feels inferior at certain point of time, don't we?

No Boundaries?

2011-11-04T20:50:00.002+08:00

I wish i know what is on your mind. #justsaying

There isn't a single day when i didn't cough! I have been coughing everyday, practically. I feel so sick whenever i couldn't stop coughing. Can someone please take my coughs away from me? Today I was coughing really badly that the lecturer thought that I was playing. And, the students who were sitting 2 rows away from me turned and thought I choked on something.

Anyway, had a negative start to the morning today. I am really glad that i talked things out with my shitting buddy because that 'cup' of mine is still running low. Every time I feel that I am re-energised, I realised it didn't take much effort for my 'cup' to run low again. Did i mention every time i get some space to breathe, I feel so safe and secured. Nonetheless, i strongly believe that things will take a change soon. :')

Met up with my BSC Team for lunch earlier. I couldn't emphasize enough how much BSC is strongly preferred over MSC. I am really grateful that i had the best 9 weeks of TEP. :')

Hi, November!

2011-11-01T23:52:00.011+08:00

Sorry, guys. This place hasn't been updated recently. I guess I've grown too independent on the private space that I've found.

Anyway It is already November! It is amazing how one year is coming to an end. I don't even feel how fast time passes by me all this while. So happy that my BB is working all over again. Previously, (if you read my Twitter), my 'alt' button on my BB has been faulty (overly sensitive) and it hindered me from replying. I was really fed up by it. But the hero at the repair shop successfully helped me changed a new keypad and it is all working again. Now, I am more motivated to reply in full sentences. ^^

Just some quick updates!

1) Zombie has gotten herself a Olympus Camera and I am really jealous of all the visual effects on the camera. On the other hand, I am so thankful because the Tan Sisters no longer have to fight over the usage of the Sony DSLR.

2) I spent Halloween in Vivocity with my dearest Sis sis. I was a little disappointed because the tickets were all sold out for this year's. But one thing for sure, I am so going to celebrate Halloween next year!

3) Homeworks and projects from school are starting to pile up. Not to mention, I haven't been doing my tutorials diligently. I should have been shot in the head. #justsaying

4) Have been coughing too much recently. I need to get well. The cough syrup prescribed has been causing me to fall asleep in tutorials and lectures.

5) I am starting to get less affected by you. I suppose it is a improvement?

6) Everyone is moving out of a depression state for me. Can't wait to see their smiling all over again. :')

Photo time:

On 19 October, the BSC clique went for some delicious ice cream at Daily Scoopz. I didn't know Daily Scoopz is just located at Chip Bee Gardens! Next year during the Chinese New Year, I've a new place to hang out with my cousins already. Before heading for ice cream,we settled down at the food court at Holland Village. I seriously don't think that you should read this post beyond 12AM. It might have some after-effects for all you know.

Yummy wanton noodles.
Some Thai Fried Fish Rice that Ally and Em had. (i think)
Connie's char tar kuey? Okay, i am a total failure because i can't spell my own local cuisine.
My NASI LEMAK!!!
Zing's Nasi Lemak.
Shumei's Laksa.
The 3 lovely girls from Team 5

I can't help but laugh at Julian's expression. Super hilarious.

So the BSC clique headed off to THE DAILY SCOOP at Chip Bee Gardens.

My really yummy ice cream. It is hazelnut with something else.
Dawn's brownie and ice cream.
Connie showing off her cheeks.

Typical Shumei and her scary expression.
Guys, look at Em. Nobody can do that face better than her. x3
Look at Gideon!!
ZING AND HIS STUN.
BYE, GUYS. GOOD NIGHT:)

All the love songs in this world

2011-10-25T23:00:00.004+08:00

You know there are so many things that I feel toward to everyday but too many of a time, i really didn't want all my followers to read then. And another reason is that I find it pointless for me to spam twitter when there are hardly anybody who cares to ask. It will be better off to blog it out and not be restricted by 160 characters.

Today, i ran with Yappies, Emmy and Kah after school. Ok, frankly speaking, i jogged really slowly. It is an accomplishment because i ran 7/8 rounds around the track without stopping. Keep it up, myself! It is kind of ironic that I ran without any worries on my mind today. I sort of realised that I actually preferred to run when I have something to worry about. As in sometimes, running helps you to have some quiet time to yourself and find answers to your questions. I like those days i peace out with my inner soul.

Really apologetic that I've speaking alien for the recent posts. Just put up with me for a little longer. :)

It takes loneliness to realise you are gone.

2011-10-23T23:41:00.003+08:00

Feeling kind of creepy because these quotes sounded exactly like what you will say. I miss the deep talks we have before. The night is getting dark and my chances are getting slimmer. It would be a miracle if green light can blink. I miss how excited I get whenever I see green light blinks!

School is starting tomorrow. I am still loving the fact that I am back to MD. Love every moment we spent together. It is way much more fun than TEP! I am proud to say that I've completed my tutorials. I hope I will stay focus for the next few months.

Goodnight:)

And he says.

2011-10-23T23:35:00.003+08:00

I wish i know what is my enemy within.

Ipod is on shuffle again. today after your fav song is played, the next song that is playing is 'Forever and Always'. I hope you remembered who recommended the song to you.

Tried to pretend but it is not working.

2011-10-22T19:30:00.006+08:00

So many reasons to give up, all that is needed is you giving me one good reason to fight on for you.

So many reasons to frown upon, all that is needed is having one good reason to turn that frown upside down.

So many reasons to hate life, all that is needed is recovering that passion for life.

2011-10-21T22:28:00.003+08:00

Confession: I have never dozed off in front of my laptop and books before.

Silent Prayers get answered

2011-10-21T22:20:00.004+08:00

Had 25 over new songs that I have yet to listen attentively.

Sorrows, heartaches, heartbreaks, disappointments, stress, unhappiness and tears are all catching up in my life. Don't mistaken!!! I am good. Seeing my close friends going through all these tough stages is making me feel helpless and let alone, I have my own worries. I hope that all these low points will sail through quickly.

Will you appear if I pray that it was you? Can you give me some hints to show that you are still around?

Sing It Over

2011-10-20T22:31:00.001+08:00

If SK II sells hope, can they hope to me?

I am in great need of some.

Pumped Up Kicks.

2011-10-20T00:20:00.002+08:00

You wanna know something? Everything that doesn't seem silly to you, is silly to me. For example: wrong accusation and remembering the wrong things. It might be insignificant to you but everything memorable to me.

Yesterday (19/10) was a great day for me.

See what i tweeted!

Today was one of the best and rewarding days ever. Thank you Shumei, Emily, Zing, Gideon, Dawn, Beanie, Regina, Julian, Allyson and Connie. XOXO

Anyway, I was offered Diploma Plus for the semester. Was in a dilemma till I had a good talk with Mr Phan. He was a good adviser. He gave me confidence and a better sense of direction on where I should head towards. So glad to have him as a module coordinator. I was probably 55% motivated to purely study hard for the semester and was probably 45% motivated to take diploma plus. I better make up my mind real quick.

Shout Out Loud

2011-10-17T20:05:00.002+08:00

I just realised how much I need to talk things out. It makes me feel uneasy when I have feelings that I dont express it.

Anyway, I kind of figure out that instead of saying 'As time goes by, people change', we can actually say something like 'Instead of saying people change, it is simply because i do not know you well to expect.'

2011-10-16T22:46:00.003+08:00

Knowing the choked feeling you can get in your throat?

I am seriously so tied down with so many events on hand. They are all taking their tolls on me slowly. Let me name a few. SBM Interview, Sbm Booth, GB Fun Camp, Sbm back to school event. And not forgetting, i need to collect my high waist shorts at Macpherson and also what else, oh yah, meetings and also meeting up with friends.

Writing all the important dates do help me remember but also increases my stress level like mad. OH Man. You know the feeling of wanting everybody to have the same commitment level? It is a turn off when everybody just wants things the easy way out. and sympathy should really goes to the person who tries so hard to coordinate. I don't dare to proclaim that it is me. But seriously, kudos to those who always try to coordinate events, programs and celebrations. You deserve to have your hard work acknowledged.

I wish you can just say yes and seriously be glad and excited as we are because we just wanna do something meaningful for you. Don't say that you can't confirm. If we are all making an effort, please do the same way too.

Root of the problem: we think too much, talk too much but do too little.

With or Without You

2011-10-16T22:20:00.004+08:00

A familiar tune was playing across my itunes. I got a little excited, wanting to know what song was playing. Then i realised that it was your favourite song. WOWOY.

WOWOY <<< I'm sure he can figure out.

My outsides are cool, my insides are cool.

2011-10-16T21:18:00.003+08:00

I found a better place to express my feelings. Somewhere secretive and safe.

I need a better place with lesser judgement, lesser critisms.

However, when someday i cluster sufficient courage, i will blog it out.

Maybe I can even write a story about it. #justsaying

School is starting tmrw. I am not ready for lectures and tutorials but i am definitely looking forward to going back to my old routine.

Things aren't really to my favour.

2011-10-16T01:48:00.004+08:00

I kind of know that I am never your priority. I have been hallucinating for too long. I need to keep my feet to the ground. I need to get better and really stop coming up with reasons why things do not work out when i stopped receiving replies.
Shouldn't asked. Shouldn't doubted. Shouldn't cared. Shouldn't even bothered.

I am going to remove the green light now.

2011-10-15T21:10:00.002+08:00

New favourite song that I must listen everyday.

What faith can do - Kutless

Come. Came. Gone.

2011-10-15T20:27:00.002+08:00

I swear that you don't have to go. I thought we could wait for the fireworks.

2011-10-15T00:48:00.000+08:00

If I am going overseas for OSEP, will this be what i will be seeing?

2011-10-15T00:40:00.003+08:00

It is kind of ironic how emotional songs are capable of making you sink deep into another state of mind yet at the same time, makes you feel a lot better. I couldn't remember how long I've started listening to 1 song of such genre everyday.

Has been expecting a lot recently. Has been expecting too much that I feel kind of miserable deep down. You know the kind of hard feeling when hard work doesn't pay off as much as expectations? Songs like "Terrible things", "Dear Agony", "Unbeautiful", "Perfect" etc makes hell lot of sense now.

Do you know that I am really one more step away to walking away? Not going to be easy but I am just gonna swallow it hard and crawl on.

The Heart That Never Lies

2011-10-10T00:04:00.004+08:00

Being random but i realised that i've not been posting secrets from Six Billion Secrets for so long. Oh my~
Guess what, i am going to post Secrets again. ^^

Anyway, i am back from Class Chalet. Lots of drinking and eating!
Unfortunately, Zombie brought my camera to Taiwan earlier so i didn't have a chance to bring it to Chalet. But i have a good time. I can't wait to start Semester 2 as soon as possible. 1 more week to go and MD will be back

2011-10-06T20:04:00.001+08:00

But

now

i

feel

so

far

from

U.

2011-10-06T19:55:00.003+08:00

Best Class Ever. Missing every crazy yet fun times we spent together. We all looked so different then.

2011-10-06T01:36:00.003+08:00

"If your boyfriend bothers to talk to your girlfriends, he is a keeper.
If your boyfriend remembers little details, he is a keeper.
If your boyfriend makes you are home safety, he is a keeper.
If your boyfriend isn't shy to show you to his friends, he is a keeper.
If your boyfriend sits through every little complaints you made, he is a keeper.
If your boyfriend gives up his darling laptop/games for you, he is a REAL keeper."

This book has gotta be the Must-read book if you never understand girls.
TEEHEE.

Tendency when you like a song is when you can relate to it

2011-10-06T01:21:00.003+08:00

I can't believe that 2 days of my leave has just flown by so quickly. And tmrw, im going to head back to Challenger for my attachment.

These 2 days has gotta be the best times spent ever. I was really really (deep down, up, down, left, right) grateful because i spent the days none other with Huishi, Vanessa, Serena and Xiaofen. I love the times i spent with my brothers. They just made me feel like I am back to being a 16 yr old girl. Apart from worrying and panicking for my O levels, every single moment spent in school is worthwhile and meaningful. I feel like I can really do crazy stuffs and not get judged. (You can't deny how tiring it is to live in a mundane and typical lifestyle.) Hanging out with them is definitely an effective therapy! Now I feel like I am re-energised to head back to Challenger. Thank you, girls! Your presence makes a difference in my life. ;")

Yesterday was a crazy day. The 5 of us went to sign up for BTT together! I will always remember 5 October as a meaningful day because we all made our second step to adulthood. Can you imagine us ferrying each other around some day? Oh yes, I definitely see it coming. And I can't wait for it! So basically, our BTT date is on 7 December 2011. HS, Vaneh and XF will be going for school, manual while Serena and I will be going for private, auto & manual (respectively)! If you are thinking of what our first step is, our first step is to drink like adults. Keedingggg. We went timbre again. This time, it was less tiring because we didnt have to queue miserably. We were the early birds and have gotten ourselves a good seat to the stage. The horrible thing is that I had dental appt earlier in the day. Then, i ended up having troubles chewing and swallowing. But I am going back from the Duck Pizza again. ^^

Not forgetting, we had a surprise for Xiaofen and met her boyfee!! I bet it was a huge surprise for her. HEHE. Dont you just love surprises? Pictures taken last night:

2011-10-03T22:11:00.001+08:00

Oh! And anyway, I am considering about going overseas for studies.

If I really want to, it will be Year 3 Semester 2. However, I didnt want to make decisions on impulse. Am going to give a serious think. ;')

2011-10-03T22:04:00.000+08:00

Terrible MISCONCEPTION from girls

Fall into the arms of love tonight

2011-10-03T22:00:00.002+08:00

If you like me,

Then say you like me.

I'm never going down,

I'm never giving up.

I'm never gonna leave,

- 'Say You Like Me, We The Kings'

Hope can be overrated some days.

2011-10-03T21:39:00.003+08:00

"My outside is cool but my inside is blue"

Ran for the first time willingly in 2 years. Ran to take troubles off my mind. Ran for a healthier lifestyle. Ran because i wanna quit being a lazy couch potato. Ran because I wanna have a better stamina.

I couldn't emphasize enough how proud I am of myself when i attempted to run. I am looking forward to next run. But definitely, i am not looking forward to get any muscle aches. I can feel my aches all over my thighs. Please get better, body. I am meeting my fav girls tomorrow. ^^

Handed in my Summary Report last Friday! I can finally sleep in peace without having to struggle for hours to come up with something to write. What done is done, I just need to pay that my hard work and effort was recognised by my peers and supervisors. Whatever the case is, I am going to enjoy my last 2 weeks in MSC. When the new semester starts, I must be all ready to perform! And I miss MD like madddd.

Anyway, Vincent was right. If it doesn't progress any further, everything will start declining. Green light, i am going to turn in early. I am having dental appointment tmrw. Green light, i won't be carrying hopes that you will blink. It is harder than i supposed it will be.

I say brown and red for my braces tmrw. What do you think?

If you feel that I am missing in your life, have a good laugh and look at the upcoming picture! ^^

Secret love, my escape

2011-09-28T22:36:00.002+08:00

Have been so hooked on to boy bands recently.
These boy bands are Mayday Parade, We The Kings, Fm Static, The Script, Secondhand Serenade etc. Imagine getting serenaded with a guitar in the nights.

Anyway, just a update on today. :)

Green light blinked! And time pretty much flies today. In other words, everything went on smoothly today. Not forgetting, bumping into favourite people. I had lunch with Vincent today. We had a good time reminiscing the days in China and we both concluded that our highlights of TEP has gotta be the China trip!! Before i bore you out the times I spent in China, I also bumped into Sophia Ee today. I miss her badly!! Not forgetting, i miss the times in BSC! Things are way simpler then.

There is a class chalet next week and I am so looking forward to it. But before that, I need to work on my Summary Report now. TTFN

Worrying is redundant but i cant help it with my redundant thoughts.

2011-09-28T00:19:00.003+08:00

It is 12:20am and i am still waiting.

Waiting for every little thing that you probably didn't expect.

I am worried that i will be led astray... by my thoughts.

I just need to concentrate on my summary report.

Please, green light, please blink.

Don't let me worry.

I dont know. i thought we can ..............

Dream Catcher

2011-09-27T00:34:00.003+08:00

Application and Purpose of the Dream Catcher
The dream catcher is hung above a sleeping area, ideally in a place where the morning light will fall on it. It is the nature of a dream catcher to attract all dreams to its web. When bad dreams come, they cannot find their way through the woven pattern, and become trapped in the webbing…where the first light of day causes them to melt away and perish. Good dreams navigate their way through the center of the web, however, and they slide down the lowest-hanging feather to inspire the peaceful sleeper below.

I feel like getting one of them too.

I Feel Pretty/Unpretty - Glee [Official Video With Lyrics]

2011-09-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

I just gotta share this song. it is way too nice. I've got a new fav song. ;')

Been a dreamer these days.

2011-09-25T15:44:00.001+08:00

CRAZY FANTASIZING.

2011-09-25T02:30:00.002+08:00

For the first time, i feel different as compared to the other occasions. How did you manage it? Let's hope something good will turn out.

Gonna Get Over Me

2011-09-25T01:55:00.006+08:00

It has been 4 days since i last visited this small corner of mine.

Wonder who has been visiting this isolated corner for me.

For the past week, I've not been feeling the best of my moods. Every day, my emotions weighed me down more than anything. The only happy moments are seeing friends that really matter to me. They just made me feel happier even with the slightest gesture. :)

The Panyu trip was seriously awesome. Best trip ever. I couldnt explain further how much fun and good times I had there. There were a few times when I really didnt wanna come back to Singapore. Despite missing Singapore and the people, I miss how far away I am from reality. At least when I am there, I have lesser sorrows, troubles and unhappiness. You can clearly see all the happy faces from the pictures. If given another chance, i would stay there till next semester.

Anyway, was talking to Mr Aloysius on Friday. He encouraged me to go for OSEP. It was something that i once wanted to go in Year 1. Then when i saw my friends packing for OSEP, I thought like 'hey, it was way too long. anything can possibly happen in a day. what more 4 months?' So eventually, i convinced myself that i don't need that. Then my perspective of OSEP changed again when I was back from Panyu. Typical from girls right? Fickle minded much. Had a talk with daddy and mummy and they were both opened to the idea. I am quite delighted by their decisions but there are way too many factors to determine my final decision. Maybe I shall spend my time worrying on this instead.

Attended Huning's church yesterday evening. When he first asked me on Friday, i said yes without thinking twice. Reason: I want more clues to what God has for me and my future. So i attended, harboring the hope of getting answers. So eventually, I am really glad i attended. I think i got my answer for my query. Anyway, I realised that i am definitely getting bolder every time i confide in someone. Or maybe because i have been suppressing my feelings for too long. Either way, I feel a lot better after letting them all out. I am even stronger in every way and even more determined to try even harder.

Do you know that every time when life gets a little tough, i told myself that I need to stay out of my own comfort zone. At the same time, through the hard times, Im one step closer to knowing myself better.

2011-09-21T01:17:00.001+08:00

Why is it so tough to hear those sentences?

2011-09-21T00:58:00.005+08:00

Was a little affected over some of the world's very silly stuffs until i read a long message from Verena (my German Buddy). It kind of brightens my day by 5000 times. That was how powerful a message can be. Thanks, Verena. ;")

I really hate it when people bug me for my projects. Ok, this is really the first time Im going to blog this matter out. So sorry if it offended you in any way. But i really need to let this out once and for all. I hate it when people used my projects for their projects. Now that we are all in different stopovers, we will all be learning the same modules throughout the different 9 weeks. But i just dont understand why people bug me for my projects as a reference. Like cmon, I survived my projects on my very own without any help or sample copies from friends. If i can do it, why not you? Have you ever feel how people will feel? Like just seeing how their hard work get rip off and named under your name? If one person ask me for it, i am totally cool with it. But when a group of people come bugging for it, how many of you really think for how i feel? Probably none. You are just thinking for yourself and your grades. I am really not being selfish because i shared as much as i know. But seriously, how would it feel if your hard work is not recognised in the right way? Seeing how people come and take it away from you really hurt. i burned tons of midnight oil to present my best to the teacher. There are so many times when i battled hard with my principles and my conscience. And i really didnt want to share but wanting to keep a friendship, i gave in to you guys. In the end, i feel so angry and upset with myself. If you really see me as a friend, please dont put me through this again. it really hurts. And it makes me feel used if you didnt realise.

I dont want to go through those emotional tolls, again.

I'm afraid of starting all over

2011-09-12T19:55:00.003+08:00

It is 12 in China now. Both Emily and I bathed and ate our dinner. Hmm. Wondering what our dinner? Guess guess. There are noodles + soup + bits of meats. Hmm. Bet you can't guess it! We just had maggie noodles. Travelling out of school is a hassle for us! We need approximately 45 minutes to reach the nearest shopping centre. 45 mins is the time required for me to travel from CCK to YCK. And did i mention that the school is so much bigger than NYP?

Im craving for supper and no one is willing to accompany me to eat supper. :(
Im thinking about the frog porridge!!

Forever and always.

2011-09-12T13:19:00.003+08:00

Trust me, im alr losing track of the days we are left with in China.

But im definitely having a good time here!!

As much as i love all the fun times in China, i miss all the good times in Singapore.

I miss how freely i can use my data plan to check facebook, twitter and stomp every night.

I miss how close i am to my friends. Now we are more than thousands miles apart, it is way harder to communicate. It takes extra effort to keep friendships going. It explains why i leave wall posts and messages on walls.

Anyway, I went to Chime Long Amusement Park yesterday.

It was crazy!! Took lots of rides!! And last night, i was experiencing the post effects of the rides. I can literally feel myself hanging on in mid air and being tossed from left to right etc. And not forgetting, singing sessions at the park with Vincent and Gideon.

One thing that really sucks is that people here smoke indoors. I can't take the smell well. I realise that im actually very sensitive to the smell. I probably smell it way before anybody else does. They can smoke inside theme parks and in restaurants though it is forbidden. Here is a little thing to vent: Despite queueing for our rides to take the front row, we missed 3 times in a row. This is simply because some eediots cut our queue!! And us, being the group that is super united, we fought for our rights and even scolded the person. Talk about team spirit. :)

亲爱的情人啊。

2011-09-11T03:56:00.002+08:00

命运，你真爱作弄人！：（

Lazy as always

2011-09-10T01:30:00.002+08:00

Oh dear. It is 1:33a.m. naoooo. Julian and Allyson are hanging out in our (Emily + I) room watching 'Tangled'.

It was a long and hectic day for us. We woke up at 7:30am to wash our laundry yesterday and then headed down to meet the rest of the people at 8:15am for a visit to Tan Clan Association. Ah-hem. Yes yes, the Tan Clan Association. That's my surname!! Both Emily and I were so proud to be a Tan and we were actually visiting a place where our ancestors used to hang out in. How cool was that! Got some excellent photos taken and i truly can't wait to upload them to facebook.

(Btw, the internet connection here is terrible but at the same time, i am very thankful for the connectivity. Without connectivity = no blogging + no facebook. Oh yah. I was unable to log on to twitter anyway. So yup, 7 more days without twitter!)

After the trip to Tan Clan Association, we were given permission to shop till 8:30pm! So our tour guide + student buddy, Shi kang, brought us to 上下九 street. It is an interesting street that was freaking big. It is probably the distance of Far East Plaza to Plaza Singapura or even further? Yup, you've got it. And not forgetting, there are also alleys that connect shops to shops. It is really a amazing street. I was a little disappointed because I barely caught anything to my liking at the start. They are practically food, household necessities and clothes that are out of my age range. Then eventually, i realised that there are some shops that do sell clothing for youth. Then i got a little excited and i started buying things! Anyway, (just to gross you out), i ate Smelly Tofu (BLACK IN COLOR), Fried Scorpion (BROWN IN COLOR) and some worms that i cant figure what they are. It was totally cool ploxx. And i also have dim sum at one of the most famous restaurant in town. I also tried fresh oyster and GOSH, IT IS FREAKING YUMMY. I also tried lamb stick. Yummieeeee. Though you can't really trust the food here entirely, every thing is still worth the try. I'm going to keep eating till i ......

Moving on, the food here is pretty oily and salty (if you dont know). But there is no way i can deny that the food is cheap! But the oily part really sucks a lot. It stained my teeth really badly. So to protect my teeth from getting worst, i actually brush my teeth 4 times/washing up session. Yup, that is how serious the matter is. I brush it twice with my dental toothbrush, then once with a new toothbrush and the last time with my small dental brush.

Oh yah. Anyway, i had a 30mins basketball match yesterday. It was horrible. Ok, though i laughed like mad upon the fact that i was a total noob, i do feel my fats reduced by a lot. I havent really have a real proper workout session since i graduated so yesterday was a wake-up call for me. Maybe i should start exercising.

Ok, it is the 6th day in China and i am hoping that time will pass a little slower. I dont want to go back to Challenger that soon. i still need to fulfil one week of full shift. But at the same time, i miss every thing and every one in Singapore.

I see the truth

2011-09-09T00:08:00.003+08:00

I kept my promise of blogging again. It is 12:10am.

And i have less than 7 hours of sleep. Will be doing our laundry tmrw instead. :O

Yesterday we had bbq food for dinner. Pretty yummy!! And i had frog leg porridge too. omg. it reminds me of Geylang Lor 17 and i thought of don immediately. He is going Switzerland for 6 freaking months and i dont know how im going to survive without a brotherly figure. I have one less good friend alr.

Anyway, during the visit just now, we had an unexpected return! The "lecture" room (which is a meeting room) does not only have an air-conditioner. The whole room had wifi access and i finally whatsapp for the first time i was in China. Of course i seized the chance to use whatsapp nonstop. However, i have yet to gain access to hotmail and twitter so far. I certainly hope that i can use soon enough. And for the first time, i fell asleep in a "lecture". Hehehe. And i was woken up cause i have a sudden spasm. It was super obvious cann!! I am somewhat deprived of sleep. Looks like the tiredness is kicking in alr.

Poor Emily is fighting with her sleepiness too. We are currently waiting for the guys (Gideon, Julian and Zing) to come up to webcam with Gabby. Hahaha. Poor Emily~

It is 1:01am and i have a sudden craving for roasted duck pizza. :(

The Harold Song

2011-09-08T13:02:00.003+08:00

Hi guys!

Today is the 4th day in China. The weather is still baddddddd, but definitely better than the past few days. And the air makes my complexion worse. A couple of us are showing signs of falling sick. We need to start drinking more water!!!

Yesterday was just one tiring day. Both Emily and I slept at 11/12 which was the earliest timing we have ever slept at. For the past few days, the 2 girls slept at 2++am because we were doing laundry and we were also talking to our dear friends in Singapore. (AWWWW) Do you know that we are the only 2 hardworking girls who wash our laundry everyday without FAIL? I know right, you can save your praises till we are back in Singapore.

We have been buying alot of stuffs! I've got myself some great deals!! I hope i can get more apparels and accessories soon. Have been holding back my temptations because some of the shop owners refused to lower prices. (HOW COULD THEY?) It is pretty clear cut that we are foreigners because we couldnt stop speaking in English. But us being Singaporean, we go for cheap buys and bargain nonstop.

Ok, I will blog more at night alright? I have so many things to share with you guys. we are attending a lecture at Panyu Polytechnic now. TTFN :)

PS: I cant upload pictures to blogger now.

Greetings from China, Panyu

2011-09-06T00:28:00.003+08:00

Greetings!! I am so surprised that i can blog in China.

Omg, sorry emily if you are reading this. I am so excited that i can blogg!!! ^^

It is 12:33am and I was having a great heart-to-heart talk earlier with my dearest roommate! (Emily) She is mad, she is giggling right in front of me now. But still i love her!! ♥

Like my previous trip to Shanghai and Suzhou, I am working on my reflections in Panyu. I want a fruitful trip and not just another getaway. But i will blog more if i have the time. Anyway, we will be visiting Walmart tomorrow. I hope we can get more food there! And we will also be shopping later. I am so gonna eat xiao long bao and xiao long bao.

Earlier yesterday, we touched down at Panyu safely! And the weather was simply awful! What happened to the weather forecast online that was supposed to be 80+% accurate? So disappointed to hear that the temperature is 33 degrees! And it was really humid!! Keep sweating away. But emily and I survived the first day! We did our chores ourselves! We cleaned the room, unpacked our luggages and washed our own clothes!!! (PROUD PROUD)

And thank you, Vanessa for sending me off. So sweet of her to surprise me. She is definitely a keeper. <3

我很好，那你呢？

Smurfing all over again

2011-09-04T01:42:00.002+08:00

This is really coming true. In less than 30 hours, i will be heading to the airport. I am only 1/2 done packing. Girls being girls, we do last minute stuffs. ^^

Anyway, i am so touched that there are so many friends who care to ask for my flight details and friends who want to send me off. Not forgetting, friends who wish me bon voyage and everything. One thing worth mentioning is that i received 20 over love letters from my GB girls. How sweet is that!! It is really sweet. I can feel tears in my eyes. :')

Anyway, here is my tumblr URL: polychromeposy.tumblr.com

Despite being active on tumblr, I will still stick to blogger as much as possible. Anyway, I am turning in now. ZAI JIAN:)

Still a little teeny weeny worried about changes.

2011-09-02T19:56:00.004+08:00

Hi, guys.
So sorry for the lack of updates. Have been hanging out with friends for the past few days because I will be flying off to Panyu on Monday (5 September). It will be an exchange program with Panyu Polytechnic and we will be staying there for 13 days. That's mad long.

What is different from the previous trip to China is that I will be going alone with none of my China friends. But i am certain that it will be a fruitful trip. Because I am going Emily and people that I've alr known for some time. Hopefully, i wont suffer from homesick. ^^

Anyway, the next 4 photos are pictures of my suit case.

I am packing this bbg to Panyu with me for 13 days. ☺This is the suitcase that I originally wanted to bring.

Then mummy surprised me with a new (and bigger)suitcase!! Look at the size difference!
And happily, this bbg hopped into my new suitcase again.☺☺☺

Anyway, Challenger is probably getting better. Btw, I got into Challenger for my half-shift attachment. It wasn't the best i can expect but it is definitely getting fun in there. I hope the fun will continue to stay because the friends made there really determine my mood a lot. I am so surprised to realise that Shumei is just like me. Ok, not the looks (DONT MISTAKEN) but we share similar hobbies. How interesting right? Like we will read blogs of famous bloggers. And last but not least, she reminds me of Lim Huishi a lot!

Anyway, i heard that blogger is banned in China so maybe i will release my tumblr URL officially because i didnt want you to miss out the fun i have. Ok, i am still trying to figure out my user id and password now. TTFN!

2011-08-29T20:19:00.001+08:00

1 more week to flying off and I have yet to pack. :O

I promise to upload a picture of my suit caseeeeeee. It is blue btw!

2011-08-28T15:45:00.001+08:00

VERDICT OF THE DAY: WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD, NOTHING MAKES SENSE. EVERY WORD, EVERY TONGUE AND EVERY ACTION PISSES YOU OFF.

In a corner

2011-08-25T22:01:00.004+08:00

Can't wait for tomorrow to come. Need a break badly. Have been screwing up simple tasks for the week. Couldn't help but feel unworthy. Why can't i remember simple procedures easily? Lots of thoughts run through my mind today.

Had a Panyu briefing yesterday. It came to me as a reality smack because I'm flying off to China for 13 days in less than 2 weeks time. As much as I am excited to shop and splurge on apparels, accessories, shoes, bags, wallets and food, I am also feeling hesitant in staying. I am so worried that things will change once i leave. Not that i wanna witness the change, but i just want things to stay as they are. Ok, maybe not want things to stay as they are, but perhaps slightly better? Like how it is at the beginning. Somewhere deep down, i know clearly for myself that by leaving here, i can free myself from my wild thoughts.

I am seriously acting like a thinker for too long. I couldn't help but wonder why life is so much simpler when we are younger? Why must we haunted by these crazy thoughts when we get older? And lastly, why cant we remain who we are years back.

Anyway, here is a original by Megan Nicole. It is called B-e-a-utiful. It is probably a great song that best describes me now. Ok, not the entire song. But the chorus especially. Btw, apart from being so talented in singing and guitar, i think she is very pretty too!!

P.S. : I am hoping that there is access to blogger.com in China. I dont mind that there is no facebook or twitter, but please dont take my rights to blogging away. :(

2011-08-24T09:53:00.003+08:00

Feeling a little sick now. Some kind of unexplainable feeling. And i really mean that i am sick. I think it is because of the lack of sleep and perhaps, the curry rice i had yesterday. #weak

2011-08-24T00:06:00.000+08:00

The feelings of uncertainty. I dont like the taste of it.

I will sail the world to find you

2011-08-21T22:19:00.002+08:00

As promised that i will be pick myself up, I am still doing it. Thank God for Emily for seeing me through the hardship. I am thankful that she always gives me support and lets me feel that I am not the only going through the hard times. She is a real keeper!

Initially, I wanted to blog earlier this week but i stopped myself from blogging because I knew that i will be blogging how sad my life is. Hehe. So now, I am feeling good enough to post here.

I am excited to talk about how i spend last friday night. Rest assure, I am not Katy Perry! I didnt let pictures of that night ended up all night and i am not screwed. Last Friday, i spent quality time with Emily and Cheryl!! Though Mike, Weisheng and Jolene joined us, I enjoyed how i take time off to pull myself away from dramas. Life should be just a long yet enjoying stroll. I enjoyed talking to Mike the most. I found a new inspiring person now. He is just amazing, beyond words. :) We talked from Sommerset to Chua Chu Kang, and the amazing fact is that i barely know him for more than 3 hours.

With that, I concluded that I am half of an introvert and an extrovert. When I am an extrovert, I truly enjoy meeting new people. But when I am away from my comfort zone, i will tend to act like an introvert.